Motherhood Series 2: Intersectionality

I have already spoken (I feel like adding ‘at great length’) about the most common gender stereotypes associated to parenthood and motherhood. In a patriarchal society (that is to say, pretty much anywhere in the world), these stereotypes classify women as natural-born nurturers, beings who by essence are designed to take care of children and others at large, while men are positioned as providers, who need to fend off the outside world in order to materially and financially support their family. These sets of representations firmly place women and the roles they endorse within the domestic sphere whereas men are essentially defined as public creatures, leaving both sexes pigeon-holed in a rigid web of rules that prevent them from fully realising themselves. However, while patriarchy harms both men and women, it is paramount to highlight that the patriarchal system benefits men by putting resources, power and privileges in their hands, leaving women oppressed and dominated.

Such prejudices pertaining to women help glorify the myth of the sacralised mother, that is to say, the mother who sacrifices everything including herself to raise her children. Such behaviours of self-effacement and sacrifice are valued by society and presented as the ideal model of motherhood, one women the world throughout should uphold and apply. These stereotypes also help divide women and pit them against one another by creating a competition to become the perfect mother: just like patriarchy creates competition amongst women for men’s attention, the ‘motherhood race’ helps distract women from fulfilling their productive and community social roles.


While all mothers have to face these stereotypes and discrimination, women are not a unified bloc, and we’re certainly not all equal in the realms of motherhood.

Intersectionality posits that some people endure several simultaneous forms of discrimination and oppression in a given society. Women who belong to upper social classes certainly do not have the same experience of motherhood that women living in precarious socio-economic conditions, as white women do not have the same experiences as women of colour. The same goes for straight mothers who do not face the same hurdles as trans, queer or lesbian mothers. Class, race, sexual orientation, being valid or not: all of these factors impact women’s experiences of motherhood and the societal pressures they have to face, something we tend to forget when we talk about stereotypes associated with motherhood.


Indeed, the situation of mothers vary greatly depending on the material means they possess: being at the intersection of womanhood, motherhood and poverty means that not only will you have to face sexism and stereotypes associated to motherhood, but that you might not have the same quality access to reproductive health services, putting you at a heightened risk of maternal mortality and morbidity. Mothers with fewer means at their disposal will also have to face difficulties in accessing child care, thus making it all the more difficult to progress in their job, or to even keep a job. Childcare might not even be a viable option for some, as the cost of daycare might consist of the most part of the salary they receive, thus leading some women to stop working altogether, leaving them dependent on their partner, reducing their opportunities to fully realise themselves, to access better jobs and further their education. The situation becomes all the more dire for single mothers who can not afford to leave their jobs and who might have to resort undeclared child minders for example.

At the other end of the scale, women belonging to upper social classes not only have access to private childcare institutions if the public ones are already at full capacity, but they can also ‘delocalise’ child care to hired nannies, who are, most of the times, migrant women, who in turn leave their own children in the care of relatives back home in order to be able to provide for them. These migrant workers are often at the mercy of their employers, especially if they live in a country that enforces the kafala (sponsorship) system, and thus become victims of human trafficking. It is interesting here to note that, while mentalities are slowly shifting with regards to the role of involvement of fathers in child rearing, the majority of tasks pertaining to child care fall on women, either on the mothers themselves or on women’s workers.


Mothers of colour have not only to bear sexism, but are also faced with racism and xenophobia, which translates into discriminatory practices that often affect their ability to fulfil their community roles. One striking example of islamophobia is the Circulaire Chatel in France, a circular from 2011 derived from the law banning religious signs in public schools promulgated in 2004, which advises school principals to prevent Muslim mothers wearing the hijab to accompany children on school outings. Such practices publicly shame and stigmatise mothers for the simple reason of being who they are and of practicing freely their freedom of religion, a fundamental human right consecrated in many binding international conventions. This discrimination however led to the creation of the Mamans Toutes Egales collective, a diverse group of militants who stand in solidarity with Muslim mothers.


Trans, queer and lesbian mothers have to face many legal hurdles to become parents, when they’re not out-rightly vilified and persecuted: the latest debate around the adoption for same-sex couples and assisted reproduction in France is a clear illustration of the discrimination women living outside of heteronormativity have to face. Sexism and homophobia and transphobia team up to oppress this group of women.


It is noteworthy to underline that discriminations often comes in pack: it is not a rare occurrence that class and race and sexual orientation add up to lead to severe layers of discrimination. This is not to say that each struggle needs to be led on its own. On the contrary, this is to highlight the need to understand that no mother can be free while others are being shackled, be it by the ropes of sexism, capitalism, racism, islamophobia, homophobia or transphobia.

All women who choose to be mothers should be able to make their reproductive choices on an equal footing: these choices should not be constrained by the constructed archetypal model of what a mother should be, or by how much money a woman has, or by structural racism and persecution or by legislative frameworks oppressing a specific group. While we struggle for affordable, good quality, accessible and acceptable child care and access to health services and for paid maternity leave, we also need to struggle for the abrogation of discriminatory laws, for the end of harmful practices and dismantlement of racist, xenophobic, homophobic and transphobic belief systems and institutions.


It might sound like a lot of work, but think of the alternative.




Lettre au Ministère de l’Intérieur – La Voix de Beyrouth

Chers Messieurs du Ministère de l’Intérieur,
Je dis messieurs, car il va bien de soit que toutes les décisions d’importance capitale sont prises par vos soins, par des hommes, des vrais, pas par des bonnes femmes qui de toute façon n’ont pas le droit de transmettre leur nationalité Libanaise à leur famille, bien fait pour elles celles-là et qu’elles connaissent leur place. Mais je m’égare.
Je disais donc, cher messieurs du ministère de l’Intérieur. Il me semble que vous êtes bien occupés à policer la vie des Libanais-es, à la contrôler, à la tailler de façon à ce que toute part de rêve ou de beauté leur soit refusée. Vous trouvez qu’ils ont une vie facile, vous, Les Libanais? Pendant que vous prenez des décisions derrière vos bureaux cossus, tout pétris de votre propre importance, au Liban on torture à tout va, on censure à droite à gauche, on empêche allègrement les gens de se marier qu’elle que soit leur confession, on discrimine les femmes, on ne reconnaît pas des syndicats de travailleuses migrantes, on défigure Beyrouth à coups de pétrodollars, on tape sur les réfugiés et on opprime toute personne qui n’a pas l’heur de vouloir respecter vos stéréotypes de genre.
Mais je ne vous apprends rien, vous êtes le Ministère de l’Intérieur, la plupart de ces décisions viennent de vous, vous en êtes fiers, moi je vous dis, il n’y a pas de quoi.
Votre dernier exploit me donne envie de m’enchaîner aux murs de MA Beyrouth. Je parle bien sûr de cette nouvelle lubie qui vous a pris de vouloir effacer tous les graffitis des murs de cette ville.
Alors je vous explique. Là tout de suite, on a un problème, et ça va pas être possible votre histoire.
Je sais bien que vous n’êtes pas branchés poésie, mais les murs de Beyrouth parlent. Tous ces murs nous racontent une histoire, notre histoire, que vous le vouliez ou non: les impacts de balles nous rappellent cette violence sans nom dont nous sommes capables, ces luttes intestines (qui pourraient cesser si les gens sortaient de leurs sectes en se mariant par exemple) qui ont laissé leurs traces sur les murs de notre pauvre ville fatiguée mais qui vit, qui vit envers et contre tout. Les graffitis sont des bouffées d’air frais pour des Libanais qui étouffent et qui se confient à leur chérie, à leur Beyrouth adorée qui les accueille toujours en son giron. Ce que vous tentez d’effacer ce sont les murmures de votre pays, murmures qui vont en s’amplifiant et vois rappellent peut-être votre médiocrité.
De Jisr el Wati, aux tags inextricables de Hamra qui nous rappellent que Graffiti is not a Crime, au travail exquis de Yazan el Helwani, à le fierté d’Ici c’est Da7yieh, les murs de Beyrouth sont autant de message d’amour, d’espoir et de révolte de ses habitants. Je vous rappelle qu’un de ces messages vous informe que Beyrouth ne Meure Jamais. Nous on s’en rappelle bien hein, c’est vous qui semblez vouloir la détruire.
Et vous ne pouvez pas détruire les voix de Beyrouth, toutes ces voix qui interpellent ses habitants en leur montrant que d’autres systèmes et d’autres rêves sont possibles. Vous pouvez les ignorer, comme vous le faites si bien, vous pouvez tenter de les endiguer, mais vous ne pouvez pas les détruire.
Parce qu’enfin tout de même je vous rappelle qu’un de ces graffiti, c’est Fairouz. Et que, mais dois-je vraiment le préciser? Personne ne touche à Fairouz.