Every time
I think about this fateful day

My heart gives a jolt

Disbelief is still here

Lodged in my brain

Like a permanent bullet

Are you really gone?

It’s been a year, 

But the feeling is the same

A punch in my gut

A sharp tug at my heart

A quick draw of my breath 


That monstrous beast

Remains here

Curled up in me


A moment of weakness

To rear its ugly head 

Are you really gone?